When I'm Gone
by GrimmSen10
Summary: Songfic to the 3 Doors Down song.The war has begun and Harry is leaving to fight. {one-shot}


**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to JKR and the song "When I'm Gone" is from 3 Doors Down.

"Promise me, Gin," he said, desperately. "Promise me that you and James will be safe." Harry held his wife's face gently in his hands, softly stroking her pale, porcelain skin. He didn't want to leave her, but he had no choice. He HAD to fight. He had to defeat Voldemort to make the world a safer place for their son. He wiped away the tears streaming down her cheek and kissed her pouted lips softly.  
  
"I promise." she breathed through her tears. She looked down and sighed deeply. Her heart was breaking into a million little pieces. What if he didn't come back? What if they lost? She knew he was keeping something from her. Something big.  
  
_There's another world inside of me  
  
that you may never see  
  
There's secrets in this life  
  
that I can't hide  
_  
If only he could tell her the truth. He wanted to so badly, but he just couldn't. Dumbledore had forbid it. It would put she and James in even more danger to know that Voldemort was rising in power and the war was simply to prolong the inevitable; the good of the wizarding world would soon falter and die. Harry knew he wasn't coming back. He knew he'd never see his wife or baby boy again. Silent tears paraded down his cheek as he hugged them for the last time.  
  
"You be good for your mommy, ok," he said to three-year-old James, who nodded enthusiastically, not fully comprehending the situation.  
  
"Alright, men, women! It is time we fight!" Dumbledore roared through the crowd. Harry stole a longing glance back at Ginny and James as he was swept away with the crowd.  
  
Sitting in a wizard tent in the middle of the Sahara Desert, Harry longed for his family. He was so depressed these days, so pessimistic. Why shouldn't he be? It had been almost four years since the war had started. They had made a bit of headway and Voldemort was at least weakening slightly. Still, it didn't matter to him anymore. James would be seven in less than a month. He had missed so much. All of the other wizards kept telling him to lighten up. Everything was going well, but he just couldn't.  
  
_Somewhere in this darkness  
  
There's a light that I can't find  
  
Maybe it's too far away...  
  
Maybe I'm just blind...  
_  
Ginny smiled at James, who was waving eagerly from the train window. She couldn't believe that it had been eight years already since she'd last seen Harry. Luckily James had been too young to really know what was going on, though she was sure he'd be filled in on all of the details when he arrived at Hogwarts. He was going to Hogwarts. What a thought. Ginny couldn't even imagine her baby growing up so quickly, but he had and she would lose him soon.  
  
_So hold me when I'm here  
  
Right me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
_  
Images of Harry walking away on that last day they had together flooded her every waking moment. She missed him terribly. He had been her world; along with James. At night sometimes, she could feel his arms around her, though she knew he was never coming back. Was he dead? She didn't know and probably never would. His parting words were carved into her brain....  
  
_Everything I am  
  
And everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could  
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
_  
He had been hit. The pain was excruciating. He could barely stand it. His whole life was flashing before his eyes. Dudley beating him up as a child. His thwarting Voldemort's plans at Hogwarts. Ginny. James. And now here he was, sprawled out in the center of Diagon Alley. He was dying. He knew it. He'd been beat. He could only think of his wife and son as life slipped away from him.  
  
_So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
But you won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
_  
"James! You can't go! I refuse to let you go!" she screamed at her sons retreating back. He was just like his father. His raven hair flopped as he turned back to rest his vibrant green eyes on his mother. Her breath caught in her throat for a second. 'Harry' she thought. He was the spitting image of his father at eighteen and he was about to follow the same path.  
  
"Mum, I have no choice. I have to fight. This war has GOT to end. It's been far too long." his features softened and he walked to his mother, giving her a hug. "I'm coming home, I promise. I won't end up like dad did. I'll be back." He kissed her on the cheek and walked out of her life.  
  
She began to sob, knowing that she had just lost her son. The owl three weeks later had confirmed her fears and she went spiraling into darkness.  
  
_Now roaming through this darkness  
  
I'm alive but I'm alone  
  
Part of me is fighting this  
  
But part of me is gone  
_  
Her days were mechanical, her emotions numb. She was walking through life as a zombie, a chunk missing from her soul. She had lost so much and she couldn't bear it anymore. All she had was Ron, but he wasn't enough. She stood at the top of the flat building. Her feet were on the edge and she was about to let go. Then...she jumped. Flying through the air, she felt at peace, like it was all going to be ok. One thought replayed in her mind before she joined her family.  
  
_Love me when I'm gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
_  
A/N: Let me know what you think. I omitted a few parts of the song because they didn't fit, but it still works. Please review. This is only my second song fic.


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